Ugh, that's how it was for me too. I moved from living with them, to living on my own, to living with my boyfriend. I have to say, living with my boyfriend makes living with my parents look easy.
At this point I think living on your own is probably the only way to live stress free. My boyfriend tries, he does a lot of good, but there are so many things that are just so frustrating. Like this morning, I wake up to a sink full of dirty dishes and a filthy kitchen and have to do 20 minutes of work before I can even have my breakfast. This really sucks when waking up at 6am to get ready for work. It also sucks because we have a cockroach problem and we're spending money trying to take care of it and I've told him we have to have everything cleaned up at night because that's when they come out. I've talked to him countless times about cleaning up after himself (this after I scrubbed this entire apartment from floor to ceilings this weekend, too) and he always acts annoyed with me when I bring things up for discussion. I've told him that if he wants a housewife who will literally do EVERY dish, all the chores, then he needs to let me quit my job so I can stay home full time and he can support me while I support all of his cooking and cleaning needs. If he wants to require me to work (he does) then he needs to carry some of the weight of the household tasks.
The problem is, he doesn't give a crap if the house is clean or if the dishes are done. He has an endless tolerance for filth, where as I do NOT. When he was living alone his house was completely disgusting, it would only ever get cleaned when I came to visit him. That's what sucks so bad about this. I don't think he's doing stuff like this to be a jerk. I don't even think he notices that there are dishes, or understands that it will upset me, despite the fact that I've talked to him so many times about this.
I really feel like his parents must have spoiled him a lot and it kind of makes me sick. I was raised to do my own dishes, and not only that, but in our home every single dish, and the countertops were to be washed after using the kitchen. Right after--every time! It's really difficult to go from that way of life to living with someone who constantly seems to be countering your efforts to keep clean.
Sorry for the long rant. We have other issues too but stuff like this is part of our day-to-day stress. I don't want to complain to him about it because then we just have a fight. I was hoping that writing about it here would help me just breathe and let it go and go to work with it out of my head. It did help a little, so thanks for allowing me to vent.