Morals and mental well being of kids

[CeeCee]

Here's an interesting article that talks about how some kids in the U.S. may not be getting what they need to develop into well adjusted, balanced individuals. The study cites lack of holding and cuddling, putting an early stop to breast feeding, kids not playing enough with other kids of different ages, and not responding quickly enough to a crying baby, among other things.

Research Shows Child Rearing Practices Of Distant Ancestors Foster Morality, Compassion In Kids

 

[Saffron]

That's really a great article, and it had me thinking about these teen reality shows and how they act up and their displays of outrageous behavior.

I wonder if this is an example of the long term effects that these life-style changes have had on our youth.

 

[question]

Still

The only problem I have with articles like that is that people read them and then assume that my child is the way he is because I did not care for him well enough. I was a stay at home mom to my son and I cuddled, hugged, breast fed any everything else I could do. I gave up everything to care for him. Of course he was very sick and there was nothing we could do to make him better. His illness was at an age where it has left him being one of those kids that looks like they might have never been loved or cuddled when really he is one of those kids who knows what it is like to nearly die.. not once or twice but to stand on the edge of life and death.

I do agree though. I see many children who's parents do not tell them they love them or love and cuddle with them. They don't get read too and the TV is there best friend. I feel sad because I did everything in the world and I have failed yet those parents have healthy kids and just don't bother to make the effort. They have no idea what they are missing out on. My advice to other parents is to love, cuddle, and play with your kids because one day it could be too late. Do not be one of those people who only knows what they had after they lost it.

 

[Koen]

Great find Ceecee! If the 200,000-year known history of humans is to be compressed in 24 hours, the last 100 years is but an insignificant 43 seconds. We don't expect human nature to change all of a sudden in the last 43 seconds.

Truth is, each human, especially the babies, need to be cuddled, talked to, affirmed, loved, accepted, etc. Blasting all that in the name of economic pursuit isn't progress. It's human degeneration, not progress.

This forum talks about "natural" stuff like herbs. Human nature is is "natural" too. We ought to get back to it the way we go back to herbs.

 

[sammie]

The social side of things is what confused me. I see many parents who are not wanting to pay the pre-school prices (and some are crazy expensive) but at the same time their kids are not getting any social time other than being around adults all of the time. How exactly is that healthy?

 

[Jimmy]

The human touch as a baby is more important than people realize. And social interaction as a young child is important, but it wont necessarily stunt your child socially if he/she doesn't have it.

 

[sammie]

I wonder if you could gather up all anti-social people in the world, poll them and their caregivers to see what the results would be - if they would really match up. It seems shocking but I do know some parents who just had kids that are the complete opposite of this study and that kind of worries me a little.

 

[Herbie]

With all due respect to Question, I think most of our society these days does everything (excuse me) *** backwards. Question's situation is an exceptional, and unfortunate, one. A lot of the parents I see today don't pay enough attention to their little ones and then try, when it's far to late, to "cuddle" with them as teenagers. When things start going wrong, that's when a lot of parents try to turn off the TV and get affectionate. It's too late at that point.

As Koen basically said, our kids are being sacrificed in the name of the two income family. I certainly don't blame parents who can't survive in this economy on one income, but something's gotta give. Way too many of us are working 10 hour days and spending less than half that time with our families - where does that leave everyone involved?

 

[Koen]

Good point Herbie! Thanks for that. I don't discount the pain of surviving in this economy. But the cold truth, as you said, is that "something's gotta give." If it's not economics, then it's our time with our kids.

What I notice is that most people I talk to talk about making more money, making more money, making more money. No one talks about the painful but rewarding decision of spending less, spending less, spending less.

I do not intend to pontificate. But there are options available in this economy that allow people to make money and, at the same time, spend time at home with kids. We just have to face these options squarely.

 

[soursop]

Family has been relegated to the background for money, income, convenience and luxury. Most parents have less time for the children and for the family. Children are left on their own or with caregivers. Where do they get the moral values? From the tv shows, their peers, the streets, etc...

 

[SallyA]

Where do they get the moral values? From the tv shows, their peers, the streets, etc...

That's scary. I post on a Q&A site quite a bit and I can't believe some of the questions that kids (13 and older on that site) ask. I don't know if it's from lack of cuddling and attention from parents, but moral values appear to be lacking in the younger generation. It was a lot different back when moms stayed home and raised their kids.